After being defensive about my son and sports, he’s now playing defense

After my son Finley was diagnosed with Alagille syndrome, a number of “what if” questions lingered in the back of my mind. What would he be able to do when he was older? Could he do the same things as his peers? Would he be able to play sports or participate in other activities?

It took about four months to confirm Finley’s diagnosis, and those months were difficult. We were trying to balance raising a newborn with health issues and raising his older brother, who was 3 at the time, all in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. It was not a fun time to be exposed to doctors’ offices and hospital rooms, given all the precautions in place back then.

With the diagnosis confirmed, Finley would need proper care, such as specialized formula, medication, and vitamin supplements. As he got a little older, some of his limitations became apparent, even if he wasn’t fully aware of them. Because he was so small, we had trouble finding a bike for him. Playground steps, meanwhile, were too big for him to climb. Still, Finley always found a way to make things work. My only hope was that I wouldn’t have to tell Finley he couldn’t take part in an activity he really wanted to try.

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His eye on the ball

Kindergarten began a few weeks ago and kicked off a season of firsts for Finley. He’s now riding the school bus instead of being dropped off at his daycare center. He brings his own lunch instead of having one provided. And my son, whom I worried wouldn’t be able to participate in athletics, is now playing on a soccer team. It’s something I wasn’t sure we’d ever get to see.

Finley Sandstrom enjoys playing goalie on his soccer team. (Photo by Jay Sandstrom)

There have been some bumps along the way, of course. I had to find just about the smallest shin guards ever for him. And the jerseys start at youth small, which hang off of Finley like a dress, so we have to make sure to tuck his top into his shorts. But none of this is stopping him from finding his spot on the field. Finley has taken to playing goalie and defense, and as the season has gone on, his abilities and engagement have improved.

I’m not worried about Finley being the best player or playing for years to come. I just want him to have the experience that so many others his age get: trying out a new activity and seeing what sticks.

It is so funny to watch his team play and see Finley’s joy when they score a goal. As for me, I have allowed some of the worry I carried about whether he would be able to play sports with his peers to dissipate. For now, the answer is yes. That is enough for me. It gives me hope about what the answer to other questions will be.

Navigating all these changes for Finley hasn’t always been easy, but despite the speed bumps, it’s been fun to watch him grow into this new stage in life.

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