Living with MASH reminds me to avoid making assumptions

Perfect health is a myth, so I'm resisting my urge to 'fix'

Written by Kathryn Hudson |

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I’m not perfect. Sure, I’d love to possess the unshakable confidence of people who seem convinced they are, but I’ve learned to accept most of my imperfections. Eventually, you realize we all have them. In my case, some of those imperfections helped steer my liver toward metabolic dysfunction-associated steatohepatitis, or MASH. So, no, I’m not perfect. But sometimes I still catch myself trying to point out others’ imperfections, especially when I see them headed toward what looks like an unhealthy future.

Recently, I came across an article claiming that drinking a particular juice could help people with a certain blood condition. Immediately, I thought of three people in my social circle who might benefit. I hovered over the share button, ready to fire it off. Then I remembered a recent column where I wrote about the frustration of people offering opinions about my health without understanding my personal medical reality. Ouch. There I was, doing the very thing I had asked others not to do to me.

Growing up, some of the older women in my church used to warn that when you assume something about another person, you “make an ass of you and me.” Crude, but effective. These days, when I catch my reflection — graying hair, worry lines, and all — I realize I’ve officially joined the ranks of those so-called “little old ladies.” It may be time to internalize the wisdom I once rolled my eyes at.

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‘If you can’t say something nice …’

When I was deep in the throes of liver disease and cirrhosis, I looked gravely ill. Photos from that time are painful reminders of how helpless and frightened I felt. I look very different now. But MASH and other chronic liver diseases can be deceptive. One day, you can look like death warmed over; the next day, with the help of good lighting and decent hair products, you can look ready for a pageant. I’m often asked when I had my liver transplant. I gently remind people I haven’t had one. If I manage my health carefully and medical science continues to advance, I may never need one.

That’s the thing about chronic illness: Appearances mislead. And assumptions sting.

Not long ago, I found myself wanting to lecture a new classmate about the dangers of French fries. Then it hit me. Maybe they eat fries once in a while, in moderation, for pleasure. Most of us indulge occasionally in foods that aren’t exactly healthy. Before the words could escape, I smiled and shoved a piece of rotisserie chicken into my mouth. Rude assumption avoided.

Maybe it’s what I think of as the “Thumper rule.” In the Walt Disney classic “Bambi,” Thumper the rabbit teases Bambi about his wobbly legs. His mother reminds him of what his father said earlier: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” The grammar is questionable. The wisdom is not.

Since reclaiming my health from MASH, I spend a lot of time reading about liver disease, metabolic health, and lifestyle changes. It’s become second nature. Sometimes I secretly wish I could wake up with magical powers and become the “liver fairy,” waving a wand and curing everyone with MASH, fatty liver disease, or cirrhosis. A little glitter, a little science, and we’d all be healed.

Reality doesn’t work that way. Health is complicated. People are complicated. And no one wants to feel judged for what someone else thinks they know.

So I’m working on it. On pausing. On resisting the urge to fix everyone. On remembering how it feels when others assume they understand my body better than I do.

Grace is a two-way street. I’m trying to offer it more freely — and hoping it circles back.


Note: Liver Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Liver Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to liver disease.

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